I have come to the realisation that my phone actually has control over me. It tells me where I need to be, what I’m doing and how the hell I’m going to do it. I have lost the ability to think for myself.
I look at it at least 3 times a minute, why? Hoping it’s going to reveal the secrets to where my not so thrilling life is heading.
Occasionally it pulls through with an invite I’m genuinely interested in, that is if I can be bothered to get my arse first out of bed, then into the shower before I’ve even considered getting on the overground. Not in South London, probably not happening.
Then there’s the unanswered questions in life, never solved through using my real brain. Who needs that when you’ve got Google the mastermind that never gets anything wrong. Sorry thoughts, opinion and individuality I’ve sold you out for the all searching, all answering Google.
WHY HAVENT YOU REPLIED YET? Yes, you person living your life whilst I sit here staring at the screen because I’m too lazy to leave the house. How dare people live their lives at the same time as have a conversation with me.
The urge to look at the device that runs our social lives, wakes us up in the morning and keeps us entertained at any given moment we don’t want to deal with the task in hand is sometimes unbearable.
As hands turn into claws gripped to an iPhone 5 or a wider claw for the Samsung users amongst us we slowly lose our minds in exchange for an artificial one hosted by Google.
WHY CAN’T I NOT LOOK AT IT? A minute feels like a lifetime, not looking at a phone. It’s embarrassing yet we’re all suckers for it. The shame of confessing you’ve given in to your mobile, but with every little blip comes a tiny smile, a moment where you know someone, somewhere might want to communicate with you.
Ah yes thank you Papa Johns for sending me yet another 2-4-1 pizza deal.